Joined: Mar 09, 2006 Posts: 100 Location: New Zealand
Posted: Thu Apr 27, 2006 3:04 pm Post subject: Pilots vs Mechanics
Just posted this over at VOZ so thought i'd add it here to for those that do visit VOZ forum later some of you would already have seen it
After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a "gripe sheet", which
conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the
flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the
problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what
remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the "gripe sheets" before
the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor.
Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as
submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance
engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had
an accident.
P = The problem logged by the pilot.
S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
P: Noise from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding with a
hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
Joined: Mar 09, 2006 Posts: 100 Location: New Zealand
Posted: Thu Apr 27, 2006 3:38 pm Post subject:
Yep Adrian! most of them do the rounds eh!
it's funny when you get the same one in emails from two different places around the world that came from my buddy's in Trinidad and the UK
Joined: Sep 25, 2005 Posts: 610 Location: Sydney, New South Wales
Posted: Thu Apr 27, 2006 3:45 pm Post subject:
hehe yeah, I still receive the odd funny here and there that I saw over 6 years ago. It's always good to see them again though for a good laugh _________________ Cheers, Adrian
http://www.ausflightsim.net Location: SW Sydney, NSW Australia
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